i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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