highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
