Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
