it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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