i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
