I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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