I hate your face
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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