I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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