Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize