Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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