Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
