my mouth tastes like poor choices
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
