shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
