drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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