My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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