I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
