didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
