My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
