I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
