So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
