Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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