i wish starbucks made bloody marys
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
