new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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