Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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