my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
