Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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