So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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