just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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