he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
