you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
