you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
