You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
