Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize