He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
