4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
