i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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