I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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