Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
