I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize