I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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