if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
