Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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