the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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