she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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