it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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