Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
