how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
