so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
home. puking in laundry basket.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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