i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Say something about gay babies.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
