I seem to have left my pride at pride
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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