I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
