i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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