i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the day after is always just damage control
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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