You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
