please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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