We're facebook friends in real life
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
