Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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