ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
