so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
