Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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