not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
