That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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