This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
