whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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