She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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