i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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