cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can't put those talents on a resume
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
