but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
