my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
