She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
