i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
