I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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