is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
