It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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