Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
