I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
