I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
