I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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